THE SPACE CRETINS—“Rocket Roll”

Ryan Rude

I just don’t buy what these guys are selling. The artwork is excellent and grabs your attention, but it just sets you up. You think it’s gonna be cool and even if it’s not I’ll give it a couple of chances. Well, I’ve given “Rocket Roll” several whacks and I’m getting bored.

The Space Cretins are a throwback band riding on the current trends of the times. These guys have read the “Manual” TOO! Forgettable 80’s leather clad “punk” music. Actually, the music on the record is fairly tight and has some spunk. The intros and out-tros are “Cock Rock” friendly for those times you want to rock and nobody’s around. I think it’s the vocals that ruin this record for me. At times the singer has a faint resemblance to DEE DEE RAMONE from some of his later recordings with his wife Barbara. Picture your high school guidance counselor having a mid life crisis, selling their car for a motorbike, donning a leather jacket and smoking cigarettes. Kind of awkward right? The vocals on this record are not thought out and don’t match up well to the tunes.

At some points the music reminds me of The BLACK HALOS, who have equally strong backing music but have a singer that wears his unique vocal styling’s well, and it works. In other words the HALOS do right what the CRETINS do wrong.

As far as content is concerned there are no real substantial songs. Most are shout out journal entries that lack ebb & flow. Numerous drug references bring this record full circle for me. Weighing your options?—“Rocket Roll” will be easily forgotten due to the overabundance of likewise records that are far more superior being more readily available. They might make a good tribute band some day. Or, on the other hand if Lemmy from MOTORHEAD ever needed a backing band they would be a good pick for that too! So kids, what did we learn today? That’s right—DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT’S COVER!

Ahoy!

Ryan Rude